Dream A Little Dream For Brutus

This is Brutus' dream:
     He was walking in a forest when he saw his wife Portia eating the leaves off a nearby tree. He ran over there and said, "dear Portia, whatever are you doing?". Portia said, "the leaves taste like lettuce and lettuce is my favourite food". He ran away from Portia and then tripped over a log lying on the ground. He then realized it was a piece of shredded carrot. He thought, "This is a really crazy forest! It almost seems familiar somehow. Lettuce... Carrots..." Then something funny happened. He looked at all the rocks in the forest, and realized that there were birds pecking off parts of the rock, and eating the chippings. "What in the name of Cæsar are the birds doing", thought Brutus, as he heard the sound of beak on rock permeate his ears. He strolled over there and kicked the rock. It crumbled slightly. He sniffed the rock. It smelled like bread and herbs. Suddenly, he realized he was in a massive cæsar salad and the rocks were croutons. A stream of olive oil and lime juice flowed around his knees. "Save me great Cæsar!", screamed Brutus. BOOM! It started to rain Cæsar salad. Brutus tried to fight it, but it was too dense. he could feel the dressing shooting up his nose, and lettuce being forced down his throat. He then suffocated and died, and woke up from his nightmare.
      He ran out of bed and into the street, after shaking off his wife who wanted to know why he was running around, broke down the door too the soothsayer's house. "Hello", said the soothsayer, as if he already knew Brutus was coming. Brutus then told him all about his dream. The soothsayer closed his eyes for a very long time. He then said, "the death by salad means that Cæsar will oppress you and kill you, just like his salad did, in your dream.  "I must do something about Cæsar then, or else he will oppress us with his salad!", screamed Brutus.